The Azrael Project™ Online
(337) 942-2240
westgate@westgatenecromantic.com


Home | Legend | Historical Personifications | Encounters With Death | Westgate Publications | Ars Moriendi | Anomalies | Adornments | Custom Lamps

Specialty Items | Santa Muerte | Necromance | Reflections of Nuit | Westgate Sounds | Photo-Album | Obitchuaries | Gothic Tarot | Friends | Freebies

 

Greetings and welcome.

Upon this page you will find decsriptions, excerpts and links to things that I resonate to for various reasons.

Since I was eight years old, I have been graced with the presence of a voice within the night. For the longest time, I gave this voice, this presence no name - referring to her simply as "the Lady". (I still do.) It is a title of reverence, not a name nor a description. Over the years I have found and/or stumbled across other images and descriptions of entities that I feel resonate closely to what I have felt since the very beginning. These things have helped me (and sometimes hindered me) in developing my own view towards what I can at times commune with. Once finding an image to ascribe to something, sometimes it's difficult to let that go - even when it becomes no longer necessary to make use of that particular image.

Along the way I was also given images and/or names of my own, such as Girreh and Iraya. I think it is these that I hold most dear. Simply because they're personal, created by me out of my own experiences tempered with the experiences of others who came before me.

"In the Beginning..."

It all began with a young (eight years old) boy who suddenly, overnight, thought that he was all alone in the world... that his entire life up to that point had been a lie. I'm over it now, but it began with the simple fact that I found out I was adopted (it seemed to me, at the time) accidentally. I don't mean to belabour the point at this stage of my life, and right now it really has no bearing on my life. But this is the only way to relate what transpired. I was a wuss and I freaked. I thought that, suddenly, this meant that everything I had been told up to that point was a lie. So I wound up retreating to a very deep, dark and lonely center. It was this that opened up unto a beauty I cannot describe even to this day. I took to staring at the night sky, in my self-begotten misery, and calling/crying out for something, anything to answer in a world I thought was a distinctly un-friendly place. What happened was that the sky actually answered!

First, as a feeling that I too was loved. A nurturing, all encompassing bosom upon which to lay my weary head. Wave upon wave of sensation, of the uttermost peace, would flood down from the stars and engulf me. Solace, unconditional. I took to doing this nightly. I had discovered a "friend", something in this world I could rely on.

Over the years I continued this, developing an unspoken bond with that which I considered was "eternal" and "infinite", for the feelings in which I was embraced were never-ending and ever-present. It was during this time that I got the first inklings of an image for her. For a while, I had this recurring dream in which a blue-skinned woman was standing beneath a rainbow in a night sky, beckoning to me.

In my 'teens, (as most do) I discovered the art of writing. Poetry, at first. (I have tons of stuff I would never show anyone, except Leilah) But this taught me one very, very important thing. If you let your mind loose, to go on it's various ways, sooner or later it will strike home. I discovered that "the Lady" had a voice! And this was something, that in the rare times it occurred, was very distinct from my own voice.

Then I "discovered" Crowley.


http://www.thelema.org/aa/ccxx.html

It's a bit difficult being unbiased about this little "tome". The truth of it is that Crowley has been both a bane and boon in my life. This book was the first time I had been exposed to something even remotely close to what I call "the Lady" coming from someone else. In this sense, it will always hold a soft spot in my heart. But it sent me off down a seven year path that I would sometimes like to forget.

The first two chapters ring true, to me. It could be about Shiva and Kali instead of Nuit and Hadit, it makes no difference. I've always felt that the third chapter was, more or less, throwing Crowley a bone, so to speak. The important bits are in the interplay between Nuit and Hadit, ... the universal as opposed to the local approach. Personally, I don't give a rat's ass whether Horus supplants Jesus/Osiris and then Maat joins in later. The only thing that matters is the universal approach. And Crowley did something towards that. He brought back the idea of individual "Gnosis"... The idea that we all have the direct experience of the universe, within ourselves.

This is what hit home, to me....But it was only by following Crowley's "advice", to the letter, that I found the next piece.....

http://www.gnosis.org/naghamm/thunder.html

You see, by following Crowley's "advice" (that one be well versed in all religious/mythological and even scientific backgrounds), I began to read voraciously. The link above takes you to an obscure part of the "Nag Hammadi Library" - a collection of early Gnostic texts.

This particular text is unique to this collection in that it is the only one to take its own, contradictory form. Why I resonated to this since the moment I found it is that "the lady" has spoken to me in such ways, using the balancing of what seems to be "opposites" to make a point. What I learned, much later on through Crowley's babblings and my own thought was this - that such examples as what may seem to be opposite one another (such as hot and cold, for instance) are meaningless unless you posit a neutral, middling point to begin with. But the above example is still, to me, an example of her voice, expressing things in the only way we can understand - by boggling the mind to the point of comprehension without words.

What follows is a direct quote from "The Vision and the Voice", by Crowley. All I can say to this one is that this is what happened to me when I was eight years old. It took me a while to work my way through Crowley's books until I came across this, though.


"Every man that hath seen me forgetteth me never, and I appear oftentimes in the coals of the fire, and upon the smooth white skin of woman, and in the constancy of the waterfall, and in the emptiness of deserts and marshes, and upon great cliffs that look seaward; and in many strange places, where men seek me not. And many thousand times he beholdeth me not. And at last I smite myself into him as a vision smiteth into a stone, and whom I call must follow."


The above is what I have lived my life by. For she has ever been within my heart. For she has never been forgotten. In a sense, this has driven me mad, for I have always striven after that which I cannot grasp, that which is as elusive as a breeze upon the waters at night, which can be felt but not held. I fell in love with a whisper, when I did not even hear what it was saying... And I have seen her in bright sunlight, in darkened shadow, in the rainbow glimmerings of dew upon the petals of a flower, or the strands of a spiderweb; and I have seen her in the flight of birds, in the resonance of the surf, and in the clouds scudding across the sky with their many colours reflected... I have seen her within the world and within the hearts of others....

All of these moments of brief ecstasy....

Below is a link to a little tome called "31 Hymns to the Star Goddess". The author was a disciple of Crowley, so of course his writings are directed towards the Crowleyish conception of Nuit. But there were many similarities to what I had felt, especially after I discovered Crowley & the Book of the Law for myself.

http://www.hermetic.com/browe-archive/achad/misc/31hymns.htm

Following all this, I went back to Egypt to find where Uncle Al drew some of this from. Egyptian religion can be confusing, at times, with various gods & goddesses merging into one another over the course of time. Below is the best page I've found on-line which represents Nut (Nuit) in Egyptian terms.

http://touregypt.net/NUT.HTM

Then I came across the religion of ancient Greece, most notably in Ovid's "Metamorphosis" and Hesiod's "Theogony". I cannot find any page or pages on-line which reproduce the full text of either of these, but the sites below give relevant excerpts. In Greece, she was called "Nyx" - in Rome, "Nox".

http://www.pantheon.org/mythica/articles/n/nyx.html

http://www.loggia.com/myth/nyx.html

To the Greeks, as well as the Egyptians, the Night was a formative, primordial spirit. Not the source of all creation, but one of the earliest of things created, from which much else followed. One of the interesting aspects of the Greek depiction of Night is that she gave birth to various beings without a partner. A theme which is mirrored in the Gnostic perception of the Pistis-Sophia.

Okay, this was written quite a few years ago when I still hadn't gotten Crowley quite out of my head... ;-)

Simply put, to approach "the Lady", you just have to feel, and allow yourself to open up. For she is a subtle spirit, and speaks in many ways. She can be approached in darkness or light, through sound or silence. For me, my fondest memories of "communion" are when I just sat or lay under the stars and opened myself up to them. There comes a point at which the sky both "sucks you into it" and simultaneously "drops down upon you". There is really no rational way to explain this....

If you open yourself up to the living sky, all you will find is Love.....

Night Thoughts

To seek Night, expose yourself to the infinity of shining darkness we call sky.

Lay while looking outwards. Observe sky become three dimensional, no mere flat surface which is noticed once in a while during our travels. Watch as the background to stars takes on depth. Let this pull you gently into its warm embrace.

Once an idea of how vast infinity is has been felt, feel what it is like to have always been this way. To be so vast, opening arms to all; yet to seldom feel an embrace in return. Each of us carries the conception of infinity within us. All it takes is silence to unveil it.

Sky floats & spins. Motion eternal. She is the dance, as well as the dancer. We all constantly dance within Her, yet rarely dance with Her. She has been cast off like an old, useless god for which there are no followers. She wants lovers, not disciples. She asks nothing, wants nothing. She is generous beyond imagination. And She shines.

Another rite to Her can be done thusly. It does not require presence under a clear sky but is done indoors.

Perform any kind of circle invocation, vibrating names at the four quarters. I have adapted Crowley's LIBER XXV to this purpose and have found it to work for me. Any rite that establishes a circle around one's self will do. Personal preference will ultimately determine what is to be used.

When I first began using this rite, I was attempting to create a permanent circle around me. I performed this, twice a day, every day for six months without fail. I got various results during this time, depending upon mood, inclination and setting. Sometimes ceremonial approaches just do not work. Keep this in mind.

After the circle has been established, face whichever point you began from and trace in the air this sign , in a deep blue colour.

Begin from the top, hands together, using both hands to trace the sides and joining together again at the bottom. Once this has been done, visualize it as a window unto sky. Fill the interior with stars & space.

Once this can be done comfortably, "step through" the window to be afloat within the vastness of the Lady. Or simply sit before the window and call through it. Something will answer.

This window may become a gateway to many things. All experiences through this are personal. There is no one set way to go about things.

After the rite is finished, as an ending and to close the window, re-trace the figure in reverse. Start from the bottom and go up, hands meeting again at the top. Recite a silent adoration (or aloud) and end with some significator of Silence. (The sign of Harpocrates works well, but this is a personal preference due to my Crowley background.)



Infinity has many faces and many forms. There is no need to view what I call "the Lady" as a woman. This is how it is revealed unto me. This is what I can comprehend.

Any approach to Her is valid. Feeling and intent are what counts, not style and form. Rituals may be composed of any actions or of no actions. All directed unto Her, the glistening sky at night, the mirror of infinity to the soul.

Also: I would like to announce The House of Night - writings, book excerpts and more....

Bonne Nuit
Daniel Kemp